Let us consider for a moment the properties of that useful lubricant, WD-40. The WD stands for water displacement. In other words, where WD-40 is, water can't be.
So what does this have to do with relationships and marriage? Well, some relationships are like WD-40. They are literally taking up the space in your life that might otherwise be occupied by the pure water of a relationship leading to holy matrimony. These relationships not only are not leading to marriage, but are displacing any relationships which might lead to marriage.
How can you recognize a WD-40 relationship? WD-40 relationships can go on for years with no marriage in sight. If you look at this person...and just don't see marriage material, perhaps due to immaturity, addictions, religious incompatibility, seeming inability to be a good parent, or other reasons, then it's time to stop displacing a relationship which could actually lead to marriage. It's time to break up.
Thursday, April 19, 2018
Tuesday, April 10, 2018
CatholicMatch Women Sound Off On When To Ask For A Date (Satire)
[Satire]
Several CatholicMatch women recently participated in a round-table discussion on the topic of the ideal number of messages which must be exchanged before it is appropriate for a CatholicMatch gentleman to ask for a date.
While the majority of the responses were between 10 and 25, a few of the women on our panel expressed a strong preference for messaging for quite some time before any talk of meeting in person. Lauren from Ohio wouldn't consider meeting anyone who had messaged fewer than 100 times over at least a month. "What kind of a creep would ask a woman for a date before exchanging 100 messages? Would St. Joseph ask Our Lady for a date before messaging at least 100 times? I don't think so!"
A number of the women held up the fictional character of Mr. Darcy from Price and Prejudice by Jane Austen as the ideal CatholicMatch man. As Stella from New Hampshire put it, "Mr. Darcy would never be so brash as to ask for a date before having messaged for weeks and weeks! The guys on CatholicMatch should strive to be more like Mr. Darcy."
Some of the women held the opposing view, believing that the ideal man should step up to the plate and ask for a date sooner rather than later. According to Melissa from Texas, any man who messages more than 4 times without asking for a date isn't even a real man. "He's probably one of those soy boys," she explained. "So many men these days are vegan feminists without enough testosterone left to man up and ask a woman out. If a man doesn't ask me for a date by the 5th message, I block him!" Desiree from Oregon agreed. "I can't imagine St. Joseph dilly-dallying about asking the Blessed Mother for a date," she said. "St. Joseph was a real man!"
All of the women interviewed stated that it was unnecessary to mention these preferences in their profiles. Heather from Missouri summarized the opinion of the group: "He should just know."
Our statistical analysis department was hard pressed to come up with any discernible pattern to the women's preferences. The best they were able to do was to come up with an average number of messages exchanged after which a gentleman may hope not to startle or offend the lady by a request for a date. Their conclusion was that for the best odds a man should message a woman exactly 14.84521943 times before suggesting a meeting--no more and no less.
Several CatholicMatch women recently participated in a round-table discussion on the topic of the ideal number of messages which must be exchanged before it is appropriate for a CatholicMatch gentleman to ask for a date.
While the majority of the responses were between 10 and 25, a few of the women on our panel expressed a strong preference for messaging for quite some time before any talk of meeting in person. Lauren from Ohio wouldn't consider meeting anyone who had messaged fewer than 100 times over at least a month. "What kind of a creep would ask a woman for a date before exchanging 100 messages? Would St. Joseph ask Our Lady for a date before messaging at least 100 times? I don't think so!"
A number of the women held up the fictional character of Mr. Darcy from Price and Prejudice by Jane Austen as the ideal CatholicMatch man. As Stella from New Hampshire put it, "Mr. Darcy would never be so brash as to ask for a date before having messaged for weeks and weeks! The guys on CatholicMatch should strive to be more like Mr. Darcy."
Some of the women held the opposing view, believing that the ideal man should step up to the plate and ask for a date sooner rather than later. According to Melissa from Texas, any man who messages more than 4 times without asking for a date isn't even a real man. "He's probably one of those soy boys," she explained. "So many men these days are vegan feminists without enough testosterone left to man up and ask a woman out. If a man doesn't ask me for a date by the 5th message, I block him!" Desiree from Oregon agreed. "I can't imagine St. Joseph dilly-dallying about asking the Blessed Mother for a date," she said. "St. Joseph was a real man!"
All of the women interviewed stated that it was unnecessary to mention these preferences in their profiles. Heather from Missouri summarized the opinion of the group: "He should just know."
Our statistical analysis department was hard pressed to come up with any discernible pattern to the women's preferences. The best they were able to do was to come up with an average number of messages exchanged after which a gentleman may hope not to startle or offend the lady by a request for a date. Their conclusion was that for the best odds a man should message a woman exactly 14.84521943 times before suggesting a meeting--no more and no less.
Wednesday, March 21, 2018
When Should We Meet In Person?
So you sent a message and got a reply! Keep that fun conversation going, but remember that the ultimate goal of CM is to meet someone in person! No one ever got married by correspondence.
When is the ideal time to meet up for a real in-person date? The short answer is as soon as possible.
Does this potential match live in your town? Why not meet up as soon as this weekend? This could be a casual coffee date or lunch date followed by a walk downtown. Do they live a couple hours away? It shouldn't be too hard to meet halfway for a meal, should it?
What if they live a day's drive away? This is a bit more of a time-and-expense investment. The most sanity-preserving way would probably be to drive up for a weekend and stay in a hotel nearby. Because of the extra expense involved, you will probably want to message a little longer to make sure it's worth it, let's say 2-4 weeks. During this time you will also probably want to advance to phone calls and/or video chatting. Four weeks of messaging and chatting should be enough to know whether a weekend trip is a good investment.
Now, let's say they are a plane ride away. This increases the expense of in-person visits substantially. However, many couples make it work. Remember, you are pursuing your vocation to marriage, and it's worth saving up for visits! The amount of time needed to discern whether you want to fly across the country will probably be a little longer than that needed to decide to drive for a few hours. You will take the same steps of messaging and having phone or video chats, but it might take longer to get to the point of booking an airplane flight. Perhaps it will take up to 3 months, although it might be more or less than that, depending on your schedule and finances. My point is that a greater financial investment requires a little more time to discern.
Finally, there is the international scenario. If you know in your heart that you are never going to want to travel out of the country or play host to a foreign match, I advise not getting started on romantic messaging. On the other hand, if you haven't absolutely excluded the possibility, then you will obviously have to take some time getting to know this person by messaging, phone, and video before setting up international travel. Start saving money, and if things start to look serious then it's time to start investigating your country's immigration and marriage laws.
So it seems that the amount of time before meeting in person is directly proportional to the distance and expense of the meeting, but never lose sight of the fact that you are on a dating site for the purpose of actually meeting people, not for endless messaging!
When is the ideal time to meet up for a real in-person date? The short answer is as soon as possible.
Does this potential match live in your town? Why not meet up as soon as this weekend? This could be a casual coffee date or lunch date followed by a walk downtown. Do they live a couple hours away? It shouldn't be too hard to meet halfway for a meal, should it?
What if they live a day's drive away? This is a bit more of a time-and-expense investment. The most sanity-preserving way would probably be to drive up for a weekend and stay in a hotel nearby. Because of the extra expense involved, you will probably want to message a little longer to make sure it's worth it, let's say 2-4 weeks. During this time you will also probably want to advance to phone calls and/or video chatting. Four weeks of messaging and chatting should be enough to know whether a weekend trip is a good investment.
Now, let's say they are a plane ride away. This increases the expense of in-person visits substantially. However, many couples make it work. Remember, you are pursuing your vocation to marriage, and it's worth saving up for visits! The amount of time needed to discern whether you want to fly across the country will probably be a little longer than that needed to decide to drive for a few hours. You will take the same steps of messaging and having phone or video chats, but it might take longer to get to the point of booking an airplane flight. Perhaps it will take up to 3 months, although it might be more or less than that, depending on your schedule and finances. My point is that a greater financial investment requires a little more time to discern.
Finally, there is the international scenario. If you know in your heart that you are never going to want to travel out of the country or play host to a foreign match, I advise not getting started on romantic messaging. On the other hand, if you haven't absolutely excluded the possibility, then you will obviously have to take some time getting to know this person by messaging, phone, and video before setting up international travel. Start saving money, and if things start to look serious then it's time to start investigating your country's immigration and marriage laws.
So it seems that the amount of time before meeting in person is directly proportional to the distance and expense of the meeting, but never lose sight of the fact that you are on a dating site for the purpose of actually meeting people, not for endless messaging!
Wednesday, March 14, 2018
Your Profile Picture
Your main profile picture is your first impression, and you never get a second chance to make a good first impression!
Don't skip the profile picture. A few people have a good reason to avoid having a picture--local celebrities, mental health workers, etc., but for the most part a profile picture is indispensable. Many potential matches won't even look at the rest of the profile without a picture.
Finally, remember that this is not a mug shot. Look friendly! A smile showing teeth is recommended but if you're not comfortable with that then at least look pleasant.
Your profile picture might be the first time your future spouse sees your face...so make it a good one!
Don't skip the profile picture. A few people have a good reason to avoid having a picture--local celebrities, mental health workers, etc., but for the most part a profile picture is indispensable. Many potential matches won't even look at the rest of the profile without a picture.
Depending on what kind of device CM members have, your profile picture might be as small as a thumbnail, but there's a lot of information packed in that small space.
The first thing to think about when looking at a potential profile picture is...can someone even tell what sex you are with a quick glance at a thumbnail-sized picture? I know, potential matches should know whether you're a man or woman because they ran a report for men or women. But you would be surprised at how many CM users are using a picture for their profiles that looks a little ambiguous. Women: Is your picture a full front view of the face with your hair pulled into a tight ponytail or closely cropped, showing a T-shirt type collar or Oxford collar? If so, you might not be projecting femininity. Consider loosening the ponytail or setting some tendrils free, using a slightly oblique or 3/4 view, and wearing a feminine-looking top. Men: Do you have longish hair and ambiguous clothing? Consider any changes that may be needed to project masculinity in a quick look at your picture.
If you took your profile picture with a webcam you might have unintentionally produced a slight foreshortening effect which can make your nose or chin look larger than it actually is. Consider taking a selfie with a cellphone slightly above your head, or use a selfie stick. Better yet, have a friend take a flattering picture or crop a picture of yourself being natural and having fun.
Next, the background of your profile picture. The bathroom is not the ideal spot. If you must take a picture of yourself in the bathroom, at least make sure the toilet is out of the picture! If you take a picture of yourself in the bedroom, make sure the open door to your bathroom isn't in the background.
For some reason the car is another popular selfie locale, but I don't recommend it. The light coming in through the car windows is likely to cause squinting.
For some reason the car is another popular selfie locale, but I don't recommend it. The light coming in through the car windows is likely to cause squinting.
Finally, remember that this is not a mug shot. Look friendly! A smile showing teeth is recommended but if you're not comfortable with that then at least look pleasant.
Your profile picture might be the first time your future spouse sees your face...so make it a good one!
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